Hakuna Matata
by Troofs
Summary: Hallfer RPF. Jon Hall/Chris Colfer. Jon likes Chris. Everyone knows that. Ryan, Riker, and Curt manipulate Jon and Chris's lives to try to bring the two together. Chris finds it all terribly amusing, but plays along with it, pretending not to know.


**Hello! :D**

**I absolutely love Hallfer. I think it's adorable. :3 Also, Riker and Curt are extremely fun to write. XD They're insane, yes. Forgive me, it's a whole lot weird. Also, to the person in my inbox (chockolate) asking me to write more CrissColfer/Klaine, if you are reading this: I am writing that right now, but I needed to post this first. I wrote it a month ago, I think. :) Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: ... Jon Hall, Chris Colfer, Riker Lynch, Curt Mega, and all other people in this story all belong to RYAN MURPHY. (He owns their souls.)**

* * *

><p>The previous night, Jon had lifted Chris up onstage, causing unexpectedly positive reactions from certain blogging networks. Riker, Curt, and Titus had spent several hours teasing Jon about it. The day after, in a hotel room in Philadelphia, Riker and Curt say lazily on the couch, watching TV. Jon sat down on the couch beside them, a bowl of popcorn in his hand. Riker and Curt were lying down on the couch, both of them holding a can of soda. Both had their gazes locked on the television, and gave no sign of acknowledgement that Jon was even in the room.<p>

He rolled his eyes, lay the bowl on the table, and grabbed the can of soda that Curt was holding, taking a sip from it. "Thanks, Curt." He said, putting on a quick fake smile.

Curt glared at him. "Hey!"

"What?" Jon asked, gulping down the rest of the soda, and tossing it in the trash.

Riker smirked. "Curt,"

Curt blinked, and then nodded, an air of mischief surrounding his actions. "Oh. Right."

Jon raised an eyebrow, curious at their odd behavior. "Wha—"

"We were leafing through your old tweets and your facebook account earlier. We noticed something."

"Something really weird."

The two gave synchronized smirks.

"Oh?" Jon said. He frowned, grabbed the remote, and changed the channel. "Do tell."

The two boys moved closer to him, bringing out their sunglasses and putting it on. Jon rolled his eyes once more, before turning his focus back to the television again, a rerun of Spongebob Squarepants playing. He would never admit it to anyone, but he found himself able to recognize episodes and know the correct titles for each one. It was Karate Island, one that he wasn't very fond of.

"It's about a certain _someone_." Riker said, a huge grin on his face.

Curt matched Riker's grin, moving even closer to Jon. Jon threw more icy glares at them, and pushed them away from him. "Too close." He grumbled, furrowing his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

High pitched squeals of laughter came from the TV, causing the two boys' grin to widen.

"We're talking about your crush on Mr. Colfer."

Jon blushed. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again, deciding against it. He crossed his arms, and bit his lip, looking down at his feet as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. "I-I, I don't have a crush on Chris."

An amused look played on Riker's face. "Oh?"

"But, Jon," Curt said, grinning.

"We have _proof._" They said simultaneously.

Jon glared at them through narrowed eyes. "What? But-!"

"Shh." Riker said. "You talk too much."

Curt nodded. "Also, you glare too much."

"Would you like to hear our proof?" Riker asked.

"Proof of what?" Jon muttered, rolling his eyes. "I don't have a crush on Chris. The only thing you two will be proving is your insanity. And get off my case, you've both been trying to annoy me ever since the start of this tour! And, yeah, he's amazing, and awesome, and beautiful, and talented, but as great as Chris is, I do not have any feelings for him!"

Riker rolled his eyes, producing a cupcake from seemingly out of nowhere, waving it in front of Jon.

"Cupcake?" Curt asked.

"Where did that even come from?"

"No idea. Cupcake?" Curt asked again.

Jon shrugged, staring at it for a moment. "Okay. Cupcake." He nodded, grabbing the small brown pastry topped with whipped cream and sprinkles from Riker. He took a bite, getting the cream on the corners of his mouth. Jon had found the cupcakes quite delicious, but would never admit it. After two more bites, he spoke again. "Okay. You two are forgiven."

They grinned. "You should tell him."

"Tell who what?"

"Tell Chris,"

"That you _like_ him."

"Like I said earlier, as amazing and awesome he is—"

"Who's amazing and awesome?" A voice from the door questioned, walking towards them, leaning forward on the couch. Chris smiled at them. "Hi, guys."

Jon blushed faintly. "H-hey. Uh. Titus. Titus is amazing and awesome."

Riker grinned.

"Hi." Curt said, matching Riker's grin. "What's up?"

Chris smiled, nodding, not quite believing his statement. He handed over a manila envelope to Curt. "Ryan's assistants were all busy, so he asked me to give you guys this."

Curt took the envelope, giving back a polite smile. "Thank you."

Chris nodded. "No problem." He gave another nod, along with a smile, then spotted the cupcake in Jon's hands. "Cupcake!" He took it from him. "Thank you!" He said, and took a bite. His facial expressions while eating the cupcake were evocative, and all three of them had to look away.

"I—" Jon mumbled, blinking. He watched as Chris stole his cupcake and exited the room, then turned back to Riker and Curt, letting out a resigned sigh. "He stole my cupcake!"

Riker smirked. "You know what gets people to give you back your cupcake?"

"What?"

"Your smolder."

"You think it would've worked?" Jon mumbled, looking around for any more cupcakes.

Curt grinned.

"I mean—"

"Oh my god, Jon."

Jon glared at him. "Get me something sweet to eat and I'll talk."

Riker rushed over to his bag, bringing out a pack of BeanBoozled jelly beans.

Jon rolled his eyes, but grabbed for the pack. He took out a yellow and white jelly bean. He grimaced, staring at it. "Please be buttered popcorn." He put it in his mouth, chewing on it. Jon paused for a moment, paling. He grabbed a bunch of tissues on the table, and spit out the jelly bean on them. "That was the worst tasting crap I've ever tasted!"

Riker and Curt laughed. Riker grabbed another pack of jelly beans from his bag, but a normal pack that time. He dug around, before producing a gold and brown jelly bean, a brown one, a translucent yellow one, a red one with small dots, another red one, and a white one with black dots. He grinned, putting them all in his mouth at once and chewing. "Banana split," he muttered through chews.

Curt just randomly picked one, producing a pink one from the pack, and ate it happily without complaint or praise.

Jon scowled, reaching for their packet, laying the BeanBoozled on the table. "I want some of that!"

"No way!" Riker yelled, grabbing a jelly bean and throwing it at him.

"We should really be reading whatever Ryan sent us."

Jon crossed his arms, turning away from Riker and nodding. "Yeah. Read it."

Curt opened the manila envelope, taking a bunch of paper about a centimeter thick, and three pens, and a packet of strawberry gum. He read the first of the papers. He cleared his throat, starting to read. "_Good afternoon, gentlemen. This gum is for Mr. Lynch, as I stole his earlier yesterday. Anyway, conference room later. Tell Riker to bring more sweets. He's awe9some. That's all. The rest of these papers, just bring them to the meeting."_

Riker grinned. Jon raised an eyebrow, unable to remove the grin from his face.

"I'm awesome!"

Jon rolled his eyes, smirking. "You just have lots of candies."

Riker grinned, taking a piece of licorice from his back pocket, handing it over to Jon. "Red Vine?"

Jon snorted. "This thing's been on your pocket the whole day. No freaking way. Also, you've been watching Darren's play again, haven't you?"

Riker shrugged. "It's awesome."

"You use 'awesome' too much." Jon said.

Curt nodded. "As lovely as this conversation is, we have about ten minutes to head to the conference room."

Jon nodded. He stood up. He glared at Riker's bag. "Why do I have a feeling that all you have in there are candies?"

Riker scoffed. "I have cakes and chocolate, too!"

Jon blinked, then sighed. "Whatever. Let's go."

Curt nodded. The three walked out of the room, carrying some things with them, heading to the hotel conference room.

"As retaliation for you two making fun of me hugging Chris onstage yesterday, I'm going to read fan fiction to you two one of these days. I've heard you two are shipped a lot." He said, grinning.

Curt bit his lip. "You can't."

Jon smirked. "I can."

Riker snorted. "Please. You're just jealous of the bromance that Curt and I share."

"I'm married!"

"Calm your manboobs, Three." Riker said, putting on his pink sunglasses, grinning. "I said _bromance_."

"But, Six, I don't have manboobs." Curt protested, frowning.

Jon laughed. "You two are insane."

"That we are." Curt said, grinning. "But let's go back to earlier. We told you we had proof, right?"

He blushed, smacking the side of Curt's head. Curt laughed. Riker grinned.

"Would you like to hear it, Rafiki?"

"I swear to god, Riker, if you start calling me that—"

"The proof. Right. Well. It's just pretty obvious, Jon." Riker said, shrugging. "I mean, between the constant 'he's amazing, holyshit, how can one man be THAT talented!', the constant tweets telling him so, the pining looks thrown at him when you think no one's looking, and the way that you always try to be closer and try to befriend him. Need I say more?"

"None of that proves anything." Jon said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Then why are you being so furtive right now?"

Jon scoffed. "I'm not!"

"And, yesterday, that huge grin after you got to hug him onstage—"

"And, we looked at the gif," Curt said, "And obsessed over it and stared at it until we got sleepy."

Riker grinned. "Yeah. When you let him down, he looked at you and you looked at him, and there was a, a look shared!"

"Yeah!" Curt said, "It was like you were completely taken by him, and your faces were inches away, and oh my god, you should've kissed him!"

Jon rolled his eyes. "In front of a huge audience and cameras? _Really?_"

Riker smirked. "I like how you're complaining about not wanting to do it in public rather than not wanting to do it at all."

"I—" Jon frowned.

They reached the conference room, and Riker primly knocked on the door, before opening it. He found that a few people were in already. A large TV was on the wall, currently turned on to a show that Jon couldn't recognize. Gestures were thrown at them to sit on the chairs. They sat next to each other. Curt brought out the papers and the pens, placing them in front of them. Riker took off his bag, and passed it to Ryan, who was nonchalantly leaning back on his chair, his feet on the desk, a handheld console in his hand, which was currently being attacked with curses.

Brad took the bag, placing it on the table, opening it, and passing some candy to Ryan. Ryan took the candy, shoving it all in his mouth. "Feel free to do anything you want while we wait for the rest of them to arrive."

Jon nodded, looking at the two boys on either side of him, glaring. "Yeah."

Curt blinked. "Uh, where's Mr. Brennan?"

Ryan paused, looking up from his game. "Who?"

"Ian." Brad said.

Ryan blinked. "Huh?"

"Ian Brennan."

Ryan paused, biting on his bottom lip, tapping the table with the stylus in thought. He blinked, looked to the side, and nodded. "Oh. Yeah. Him. Er, Mr. Brennan is currently… unavailable at the moment."

"You locked him in a closet again, Ryan?" Brad asked.

"Hey, at least I didn't shove you in with him this time."

Curt's eyes widened, but decided to say nothing, unsure if whether to take them seriously or not.

"Hey, Jon, have any more cupcakes?" Chris asked.

"Unfortunately, no…"

"Damn." He said. Chris was sitting down, seemingly busy, typing away on his laptop. He wondered if he should just carry cupcakes around with him all the time, so that Chris would pay attention to him. Sadly, he had horrible taste in cupcakes, and Riker would not reveal where he got the cupcake earlier from. Jon found that the clothes Chris were wearing to be far too tight, but managed to turn his attention away from him, biting his lip. He looked at something else, not really caring about what it was.

Riker, of course, noticed the fleeting glance, and smirked, nudging Jon with his elbow. Jon blushed, slapping away his elbow.

Jon couldn't help but look, as the boy was a cynosure to his eyes. Memories of the previous night flooded his head, causing him to fluster heavily.

_He approached the boy in the blue jacket, with the mellifluous voice and the lissome body. He found himself standing behind Chris, frozen on the spot and unsure of what to do. _

_He took in a deep breath, and wrapped his arms around the boy's lithe body, carrying him in his arms and lifting him up from the ground. He could feel his warmth beneath him, against his own chest, which was beating quite hard. And as the boy glanced at him, surprised, his legs slightly curling up from the separation from the ground, muttering words of surprise, he felt a smile grace his own face, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks. It lasted for no longer than three, maybe four seconds, and he had to set down the other boy, much to his displeasure. _

_Chris was on the ground again, but his arms were still mostly wrapped loosely around him, snaking away only hesitantly. _

_The smaller boy was looking up at him, eyes twinkling from the conflation of lights flashing at the stage. The shared look was ephemeral, but in the short time of the look, their faces were mere inches away from each other, and Jon was absolutely taken by him._

_And he let go, his arms fully off him now, the short, but amazing moment ending. They went back to what they were doing before, but Jon more flustered and shorter of breath than before._

"Jon?"

Jon blinked heavily, snapping out of his thoughts, looking around for the person calling his name. He saw Chris blinking, calling out his name again.

Jon blushed, then put on a quick fake smile. "Yeah?"

Chris raised an eyebrow. "Is there something on my face?"

Riker snickered, leaning in to Curt and whispering to him. "I'll bet 36 three-six mafia dollars that Jon was daydreaming about him picking up Chris in slow motion. And in exaggerated descriptions."

Curt grinned. "You don't even need to gamble, Six. I'm pretty sure that's what happened."

Jon slapped their arms. "N-no." Jon said, looking at Chris. He coughed. "There's, a, er, lovely painting behind you." He said, nodding.

Chris raised an eyebrow, turning his head around, and causing the rest of the room to look behind him in curiosity, too.

Jon dropped under the table, pulling down Riker with him. He bit his lip. "Was it obvious?" He asked in hushed tones.

Riker grinned. "Are you kidding? _Dude_."

Jon glared at him, having a vague knowing of what Riker meant, but still mostly confused. "_What?"_

Riker shook his head, still grinning. "Nothing."

Ryan raised an eyebrow, glancing at the empty seats beside Curt. "Where are Lynch and Hall?"

Curt bit his lip, grasping for the quickest excuse he could find. "T-they, uh, they apparated." He said, chuckling nervously and mentally slapping himself at the same time.

Jon groaned. _Might I advise you to return that excuse to whatever pawn shop you bought it from?_, he thought, glaring up from under the table.

Ryan furrowed his eyebrows. "Ridiculous!" He said, frowning. "I told Falchuk to make sure that all rooms were enchanted to fit my standards. That is, so that no one can apparate or disapparate." He said, crossing his legs and placing his interlaced hands on the table, focusing his gaze on Curt, an amused smile on his face.

Curt blinked. "Uh. Jon is a house-elf."

Jon glared, pinching Curt's leg from under the table. Curt kicked him. Riker had his hands over his mouth, trying to stop himself from laughing.

"I see…" he said, nodding. "Huge house-elf."

"...Steroids."

"What's your name?"

"Curt Mega," he said, "sir."

Ryan nodded. "You're weird. I like you."

Riker snickered. Jon slapped his arm. "Riker. What do I do?"

"You don't need to do anything, really." Riker said.

"But—"

"But what?"

"Let me finish." Jon mumbled. "But they caught me staring at him."

Riker shrugged. "Only one thing to do here, _house-elf_," he said, grinning, "Lie."

Jon bit his lip. "Fine."

Riker nodded. He tapped on Curt's knee. Curt extended his arm, pointing at the window, and shouted, "Look! Superman!"

A majority of the people in the room merely blinked at him.

Curt coughed. They sighed, and turned around, most of them rolling their eyes. Jon and Riker snaked back up into their seats.

Ryan smirked. "Chris, dear?"

Chris rolled his eyes. "Yes?"

"Seeing as we're only missing one more person, go fetch Darren for me, will you?"

"I'm not your assistant, Ryan."

"You can go ride your kiddie scooter while fetching him."

"…deal." Chris said. He stood up, running to the corner of the room and grabbing a retractable scooter, and walking out of the room, obviously happy at being given the chance to run around with it.

Ryan nodded. "And the rest of you, save for Hall, Lynch, and Mega, get out until Chris returns with Darren."

They all left.

"Okay," Ryan said, closing his console and passing it to Brad. "So, Colfer, huh, Hall?"

Jon blinked, then looked at Riker and Curt.

"It wasn't Three!" Riker said.

"It wasn't Six, either!" Curt said.

Ryan nodded, "Braddy, note how these two defend each other rather than themselves. Me gusta."

"You've been trolling certain blogging sites too much again." Brad said.

"Shh."

Jon scowled. "What about Chris?"

"Your brain oozes out tons of hormones when he's around, namely, dopamine and norepinephrine."

"I… what?"

"Basically, what Ryan—" Brad said, before getting cut off by Ryan putting a finger up as if correcting him.

"_Papa _Ryan."

Brad blinked, but decided to say nothing, merely rolling his eyes. "Basically, what _papa _Ryan said was that, er, to simplify it, you want to jump his bones. You want to hold him, and to touch him, and to kiss him, and to love him, and to make rainbow babies with him."

Jon blushed. "Wha—"

"Still not getting it?"

"You want to jump his bones."

"To sex him up."

"To fuck him so hard until he screams and he can't walk properly for a week."

Riker and Curt were in fits of snickers, trying their best to not just outright laugh, but failing after a few seconds. Jon was redder than he had ever remembered him ever being.

"I don't blame you." Ryan said, nodding. "He is certainly _very_ attractive."

Brad nodded. "I heard his smile once brought back a kitten to life."

"And, well, I approve of you."

"Yeah, he does."

"And my team has created a presentation as to why you and Chris would be perfect together. You!" Ryan said, pointing at Brad and snapping his fingers. "Start the presentation."

Brad stood up, walking towards the whiteboard, where several large illustration boards were flipped over to hide the contents, several markers in his pocket. He scribbled on the whiteboard, writing '_WHY CHRIS AND JON SHOULD GET TOGETHER'_ in the middle with a blue marker, drawing purple scribbly lines on the side. Ryan nodded and snapped his fingers. Brad grabbed the illustration boards, and took the first one, turning it over and showing it to everyone.

On it were large letters, written with what Jon guessed were crayons, '_1) Chris is hot. Jon is hot. Hot + hot = HOT. And because they'd look hot together, they are automatically soulmates. SOULMATES, I TELL YOU._'

Ryan snapped his fingers again, and Brad flipped to the next one. '_2) Chris is unloved. Welp. Not really, a lot of people really love him, but not in *that* way. Sucks, yeah? If papa Ryan's theory of Jon having the biggest mancrush on Chris ever is true, then Chris will be loved. And since we all know Chris is the favorite, we NEED him to be loved.'_

Jon raised a hand, "Excuse me."

"Yeah?"

"I think that's unnecessary. Chris doesn't need a man in his life. He's already perfect and amazing as is, anchoring him to someone would just bring him down—"

Ryan smirked, and snapped his fingers again. "On to our next point!"

'_3) Jon has a crush on him. Like, a huge one. He calls him perfect, awesome, amazing, talented, et cetera, and will quickly and unashamedly tell him that.'_

Jon frowned.

Ryan raised his fingers to snap it, but was unable to. He tried again, but once more failed. He grimaced. "Ugh. Whatever. Next one, slave."

'_4) Jon's arms are HUGE. I'd bet they're bigger than my thigh. Just look at them. /Dayum/. Don't ask what this has to do with the main topic. It just does.'_

Riker grinned. "It's true. I measured his arms with a measuring tape while he was sleeping the other day."

Jon smirked at that.

'_5) This presentation probably didn't help persuade you any, but whatever. Fuck that. I was feeling like procrastinating and had nothing to do. But trust me; I'm awesome. They belong together.'_

Brad threw them down on the floor. "The end. Y'know, I think I'm just going to lock myself with Ian—"

"_Stay."_ Ryan said.

Brad frowned, but sat down next to him.

"So, Jon, if you want him, go get him. While you still can. Because if you don't, I'm going to slap you with my yellow beret."

Jon shook his head, "I'm sorry, but I really don't… I really don't think I can."

"Jon, seriously. Get him a bouquet of diet coke and he'll love you forever. Or, if you really can't, then leave it to us." He said, winking.

"Wait—no—what—_why_?"Jon said, before giving a resigned sigh, and leaning back in his seat.

Ryan ignored his rambling. "Just, if you do get him, don't break his heart."

"Because we will break _you._"

Ryan blinked, looking at Brad. Brad took out a Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster from under his chair, and placed it on top of the table, pointing it at Jon, with his finger on the trigger at the whole time. Ryan smirked, then started to talk.

"We'll start with your fingers and your toes, slowly crushing them with Brads's pointy, pointy shoes."

"And we will drop every acme object on you. Anvils, pianos, bombs, exploding anvil pianos."

"And then we'll slowly break every bone in your body,"

"And you know what we'll do after that?"

"We'll eat cake in front of you."

"And we won't give you any."

Jon blinked, nodding. His face was pale, and he was pretty sure that it wasn't healthy to have so much blood up in his head one second, and have so little the next. He nodded. He wasn't quite taking the threats seriously, but he thought "Y-yes, sir."

The door opened, and Chris and Darren, along with the others who were forced out earlier, entered the room. Brad immediately put down the nerf gun, quickly erasing the writing on the whiteboard. Chris sat down, not caring about any of the previous actions that he had noticed them doing. Darren grinned, and took the seat next to Riker. "Hey, guys!"

Riker, Curt, and Jon grinned. "Hi!"

Ryan nodded. "So, meeting starts now. First of all, Chord, that line, brilliant execution, Darren, Blaine's serial killer reaction was perfect!"

Darren grinned, doing a small bow. "Thank you, thank you."

"Wait, that was scripted?" Chris mumbled.

"I wanted to see if it would stir any… trouble." Ryan smirked. "The unscripted lines, the ones you guys probably just made up on the spot, amazing, mostly. Any suggestions for the next concert?"

"I suggest we stop making Chris wear extremely tight pants and just paint his legs black."

"As awesome as that would be, sadly, we can't."

Chris raised a hand.

"Yes?"

"I propose—no, I _want _Jon in a monkey costume every night."

Naya grinned. "_Wanky."_

"Naya, you say that to every comment that could even be slightly vaguely evocative." Chris said.

She smirked. "Still."

Chris nodded, "It ispretty wanky."

Jon was grinning, borderline laughing.

Darren took the pens and paper from Curt, and wrote on one of them. '_John_ _in a monkey costume? YES! Haha, also, I love this sharpie, it's so... so marker-y! Lalala. Darren Criss. John, Kurt and Dominique are my favorite Warblers. ! Look! I'm using as much exclamation marks as Lea! And with HEARTS instead of dots!'_

Jon looked at it, and raised a hand. Ryan butted in before he could even say anything. "Don't waste your breath, Hall. He's not going to bother to learn to spell your name correctly if he's never made out with you. He still keeps spelling my name with two N's, no matter how many times I remind him that I'm not a girl."

Darren frowned, looking at what he wrote. "I misspelled your name…?"

Chris laughed. "You are so weird, DC." He paused, then grinned. "I'm totally going to have to make a joke about that in Washington DC."

Kevin grinned. "You should. Then I'll troll and tell you the results."

Chris snorted. "Probably jokes about me being _in_ DC."

Quiet snickers were heard from many of them.

"Christopher," Ryan called, after the grin that had erupted earlier vanished.

Chris glared. "Don't. Even."

Ryan rolled his eyes, took Riker's bag, taking out a single piece of jellybean. "Chris, have a jellybean."

Chris took the jellybean, and took a bite, nodding. "Orange?"

Ryan nodded.

"Can I have one?" Darren asked.

"No." Ryan said bluntly.

Darren gave what one could only call as a kicked-puppy-dog-pout. Ryan rolled his eyes, turning away from Darren.

"Yeah. Anyway, what I observed with my epic trolling skills, was that there was at least one person that liked what Jon did. Good enough for me, I really don't care about what they want anyway. So, keep it." Ryan said.

"…what?"

Ryan grinned. "And so that I can fanboy backstage after. Duh. Me gusta Hallfer."

Brad sighed. "See, Murphy, _this_ is why you need to stop trolling that site so much."

"Shut your whore mouth, Falchuk."

Brad rolled his eyes.

"So, what you say, Hall, Colfer?"

Chris shrugged. "No complaints. His arms are lovely."

"So are mine." Mark said, flexing his arm.

Brad looked to the side, "Yeah, Rachel thinks that about Puck's arms. But then again, Rachel also thinks Finn is amazing and treats him like he's a hero." He mumbled.

"He _is_ a hero!" Ryan screamed.

Brad slowly shook his head, looking at Ryan, an 'I will kill you in your sleep' smile on his face. "Hope you're qualified to do something besides write functional relationships."

Ryan sneered at him. "Bring it, Falchuk."

"Oh, I _will._"

Ryan took his yellow beret off his head, slapped Brad with it, then put it back on.

"_Hey!"_

Jon was lightly chewing on his bottom lip, which had grown increasingly redder ever since the morning because of excessive lip biting. He raised his hand. Both men turned to him. "Do I really have to?"

"Yes." Ryan said, "Unless, of course, you want to end up like Mr. Brennan."

Jon blinked. "Wait, that was real?"

Ryan coughed. He leaned back on his seat, slightly pulling down his beret to cover his face. "…no. Of course not…"

"… I'll do it." Jon said, nodding quickly.

For the rest of the meeting, Jon merely nodded, saying nothing, knowing that anything he said could be used against him by the two crazy boys, or if not, then even worse, by the terrifying man in the monstrous yellow beret.

Jon sat by the couch. Riker and Curt were out to buy more candy, as Ryan had consumed most of their stash earlier the day. They were in Philadelphia. Ryan had allowed them some free time to look around, and he had just gotten back from a three-hour exploration. He sat alone, with earphones plugged in his ears, and his laptop on his lap.

Chris approached him. "Seat taken?" He asked, but sat down without even waiting for an answer.

Jon furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance, before looking at him and seeing who it was. He then smiled, and took off his earphones. "Hey."

Chris gave back a smile. "Also, yeah, as payment for taking your cupcake earlier today," he said, and took out two large lollipops from his bag, handing it to Jon. "Here." He said, grinning.

Jon nodded. "Thank you."

He put it in his bag, before turning back to his laptop.

"So, uh, what are you doing?"

"Chatting with Dom, Luke, Aaron, Brock and Matt." Jon said, "Also, twitter."

Chris nodded. "Right. Well, uh, I'll just watch TV, then." He grabbed the remote, turning on the TV to some children's show, to what he recognized as Phineas and Ferb. He nodded, ad put his earphones back on again.

After several minutes, he felt weight on his shoulders. He blinked, and turned his head to look at what it was. He realized that Chris had fallen asleep, and had subconsciously rested his head on his shoulder. Jon spent a few seconds contemplating whether to wake Chris up, or remove him, or something, but decided to leave it as is. He smiled faintly, before turning back to his laptop.

He kept typing on, trying not to get distracted by the warmth next to him.

After clicking, he set his hand down on the couch, accidentally laying it on top of Chris's. He bit his lip, looking down at his hands. Chris's fingers curled up a bit, away from his, but only to change position and lay on top of Jon's, squeezing it lightly.

He sat there, staring at the glaring screen of his laptop, but not really doing anything, just trying to keep his composure. It took every inch of willpower in his body to not scream, to not jump in joy and excitement, to not take it even further and move closer to Chris.

Suddenly, the door flew open, and Riker and Curt entered the room.

They ran over to Jon, jumping around excitedly, and taking the seats opposite his. They gasped when they saw Chris, and instantly grinned.

"Oh my god." Riker said, grinning. "Holy shit, Jon."

Jon flustered, glaring at them.

Curt was grinning ear-to-ear, looking back and forth at Jon and Chris. "Oh, Jon…"

He glared again, "Keep quiet, you idiots. He's sleeping."

"You're adorable." Riker said, snickering.

Curt smirked, staring at their interlaced hands. Jon instantly pulled his hand away from Chris's. Chris moaned subconsciously at the loss of contact, and put two hands on Jon's arm, clutching at it like a blanket. "Lovely arms…" he mumbled.

They squealed.

Jon grabbed the remote, throwing it at Riker's head, and hitting him perfectly. Riker stuck his tongue out at him. He took out his phone, taking a picture of them.

Jon gritted his teeth, narrowing his eyes. "I'm going to kill you."

"This is so cute…" Riker said.

Curt nodded, grinning along with him.

"Go away!" Jon said.

Riker smirked. "Shh, Jon, you'll wake your little prince up!"

Jon blushed. "Shut up. I hate you."

"Sure you do," Riker said, winking.

Jon glared again. "Go away."

"_Never!"_ They said simultaneously, both grinning.

Jon frowned. He turned to his laptop, clicking on a few links, and turning it around so that Riker and Curt could see it. He had opened a gif with two boys that looked oddly like Riker and Curt, making out.

They blinked, shrugging.

Jon scoffed. "How are you not—"

Riker grinned. "Everyone know it's not us, so whatever."

Curt was blushing, but nodded. "Yeah."

Jon rolled his eyes. He opened another link, "It was a warm Saturday morning, and Riker had spent most of it in his room, brooding. He had feelings for the handsome boy lying down next to him. He sighed, reminding himself that it could never be, as he was married, and that he would never be good enough, never be what Curt wanted, never be perfect enough to even be considered by him. And a tear slid down his cheeks, as he came to accept his fate of being—"

Riker threw a book at him. "You shut up, house-elf."

Jon smirked. "Alone forever in this world, without the one he truly loved. Other lovers would come and go, but he never remembers any of them. All he'd said to them, all he'd pretended, they were all false. And the only person he'd ever have genuine feelings for—"

Curt took out his phone, tweeting, trying hopelessly to ignore Jon.

Riker ran over to him, and grabbed the laptop from him, closing the tab. He clicked on another link, smirking. He handed it back to Jon.

Jon raised an eyebrow. "'Firework indeed,' Luke said, as he thrust up into Jon—" He said, then paled, closing the laptop.

Riker grinned, and burst out laughing. Curt followed after him.

Jon glared at them. "I hate you."

"We love you too." They said.

Jon sighed, deciding to just ignore them instead.

Curt looked at Chris, "Damn, he's a deep sleeper."

Jon shrugged. "He's probably tired. He does so much work." He glared at them before they could even say anything. "Don't even."

Riker pouted, then laughed. "You've seen the gif of you lifting him up, right?" He said, "That's so freaking adorable!"

Jon glared.

They mock sighed. "Fine. We'll be off now, house-elf."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Okay, house-elf." He said, then stood up and left the room with Curt, a smirk playing on his lips.

Jon sighed, and rolled his eyes, fully giving up. He gave one more look at the boy beside him. He seemed to have buried his head deeper on his shoulder, his hair brushing against Jon's neck, leaving trails of sparks in its wake.

After several hours, they were finished with the Philadelphia concert, and left for DC. He had tried to lift him up again, and had managed to. Ryan was pleased, but kept urging him to just get it on with him already. The next day, they were in DC, and had spent most of the day roaming again.

"Riker," Jon called for his attention.

No response.

"Riker!"

Riker blinked, then turned to him. "Yes?"

"I need your help."

"No."

Jon pouted. "Please?"

"No." he repeated firmly.

Jon frowned. "Pick a number between one and ten. If I can guess what it is, you help me."

Riker smirked. "Fine."

"Cake is delicious. Jon sucks balls."

Riker blinked. "How did you—"

Jon smirked.

"Okay, I'm not even going to ask." Riker said. "So, what do you need help with?"

"Um, how do I put it," he mumbled,

"You're going to attempt to seduce Chris, aren't you?"

"… I wouldn't word it like that." Jon said.

Riker grinned. "I knew it. Wait. I'll get Three."

He gestured for Curt to come over to them with his finger, and Curt came running. "Yes?"

Riker whispered to him, and Curt smirked. "Alright then, house-elf. The three-six mafia is here to help you."

Jon nodded.

Riker and Curt nodded back. Jon blinked, glaring at them. They imitated him.

"Stop that."

"Stop that."

"Seriously!"

"Seriously!"

Jon sighed, his eye twitching, clearly annoyed. "Are you going to help me or not?"

"Of course we are." Riker said.

"But first," Curt said,

"Jon and Chris,"

"Sitting on a tree,"

"K,"

"I,"

"S,"

"S,"

"I,"

"N,"

"G,"

Curt grinned. "First comes love,"

"Then comes marriage," Riker followed,

"Then comes a baby in a golden carriage!" They cheered loudly.

Jon rolled his eyes, taking his empty can of soda and throwing it at them. They laughed. "Be serious." Jon grumbled.

"Get that stick out of your ass."

He sighed. "You're not going to be of any help, are you?"

Riker smirked. "Of course we will."

"Oh?" Jon asked, rolling his eyes.

"But you have to buy us sweets first." Riker said, smirking.

Jon rolled his eyes. "Fine."

They approached a cotton candy stand, and Jon stepped forward. "How much?"

"Five dollars."

Riker blinked. "Five dollars? Seriously?" He scowled. "Rip off artist!" He screamed, kicking the seller's shins.

"_Ow!_ My shins!"

Jon gasped, glaring at Riker. "Oh my god. I am _so_ sorry, sir! Riker! What the hell?"

Riker scowled and stuck his tongue out at John. "Who sells cotton candy for five dollars?"

Jon rolled his eyes. "You're an idiot."

Riker frowned. "Fuck you, man."

Jon sighed. "Curt, take the crazy for a walk, will you?"

Curt nodded, grabbing Riker's wrist, who seemed to be fuming. Jon apologized once more to the man selling the cotton candy, before catching up to Riker and Curt.

"Seriously!" Jon screamed at Riker.

Riker patted his shoulder. "Chill, Rafiki. Come on, let's go to an ice cream parlor and brain storm your seduction plan."

"Dude, what were you thinking?" Jon asked, shaking his head.

"That no one should have to buy cotton candy for five dollars?"

The three walked into the nearest ice cream parlor, ordering ice cream and sitting down on a booth. Jon took out his phone, giving a quick text to one of his friends, before turning back to Riker and Curt. "So, um, yeah, I know, I'm pathetic, but whatever."

"It's adorable, actually." Riker said.

Jon glared at him.

Curt nodded. "Six is right. It's adorable."

Jon frowned. "Well, I don't care. What do I do?"

"Well, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. Get Chris?"

"Like, date him?" Riker asked.

Jon bit his lip, taking a spoonful of his ice cream. "I," he paused, taking another one, "Yeah. I guess so."

They both grinned.

"Alright then."

"Chris, as you probably know, is awesomer than most people." Riker said.

"That's not even a word…" Jon mumbled.

Riker rolled his eyes. "So, he won't fall for the conventional methods."

"Chris is awesome, and creative, and stuff." Curt nodded. "So, maybe, be creative. And awesome."

Jon nodded slowly. "Right. Um. Right. Like, how?"

The two gave wicked grins.

(Jon screamed internally at this.)

* * *

><p><strong>I don't even know. XD Hope you had fun reading it. :) Next chapter (if you want a next chapter, that is. I mean, it can stand as a oneshot, right? Although it would be incomplete. But still. :3) will come as soon as I finish it! :D ...which is hopefully soon. :) I love you! (Also, yes, I know, some stuff from these are reused from Unrequited, bleh, can't help it, it's awesome.)<strong>


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